I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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