i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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