And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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