Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
