I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
