Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm both gender and math confused
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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