I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
