i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
