his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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