Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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