Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
