I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize