I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
