Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
