READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
