Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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