so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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