You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
