Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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