Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
