I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
