I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize