I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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