I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love having hate sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Randomize
