remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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