Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
