I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
