I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
