I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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