it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As shirtless as possible
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
