i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
