do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
