you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
