I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
