So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
