I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
