R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your cock deserves a montage
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
