I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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