i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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