She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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