you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize