There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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