sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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