sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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