I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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