He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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