I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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