accomplished twins. life is a go
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
