I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
