I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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