Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
