Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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