Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
