We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize