The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
