i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
