You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
