for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
