ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
