He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
