But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
