we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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